There’s Nothing Lucky About It

Last weekend my family and I helped a friend move across town.

We live in a pretty small town (4,500 people) and moving day is something of a tradition around here. When we moved here three years ago, by the time we pulled up in our moving van there were a dozen people already there waiting to help. Talk about welcome!

But when I got to our friend’s house last weekend it was the biggest crew I’d ever seen. There were easily forty people there.

When I saw her later, zipping among the boxes, I caught her attention and said, “Hey, quite the turnout you have here!”

“I know,” she said, glowing. “I’m so incredibly lucky!” And then she hurried off to direct the next load coming in.

Now, let me say here that moving is not one of my favorite things. Yes, it’s an exciting time, but it’s also crazy and sweaty and overwhelming. So I would never normally associate it with the word “lovely.” :-) But that’s exactly what her moving day felt like to me – and clearly to her, as well.

But I still couldn’t stop thinking about her comment: I’m so incredibly lucky!

Here’s what struck me: It wasn’t luck at all. 

Sure, she had amazing support from caring friends – and that is beautiful and wonderful and incredibly valuable. But it is NOT luck. It’s the direct result of the work she’s put into every one of those relationships. Which is, of course, the only way it happens.

So I don’t think she’s lucky, I say she’s earned it – and it’s something she should be very proud of.

There’s an idea I originally heard from Tim Ferriss, and then again from my friend Porter Gale, with her great book of the same title:

“Your Network Is Your Net Worth”

It’s an intriguing idea. And to be honest, I didn’t really get it when I first heard it. I mean, I understood what it meant but I didn’t FEEL the power of it. But I’m starting to now, and an event like last weekend really brings it home.

The mark of your wealth is the people in your life.

And I don’t mean casual acquaintances, I mean having people you connect with and care about – and who are there for you. You don’t get that with luck or money, or any other shortcut.

The only way to get it is to earn it.

Be there for people. Listen to them. Care about them. Help them out. Put in the time. That’s what my friend has done, and by the time people left that night, they had set up and made their beds, unpacked the kitchen and set up her office. (By the way, she’s a single mother of three with a full-time job and a new business on the side. Imagine the difference that made for her.)

So how about you? What would your moving day be like? Who would be there for you? How rich are you, really?

If it’s not where you’d like it to be, maybe now’s the time to get to work on it.

If it is, you probably feel like my friend does – that you’re the luckiest person in the world. But go ahead and take a bow, too, at least to yourself, because the truth is, you’ve earned every bit of it.